Marco Rubio, Professional Agitator or Just Another Cool Dude?

Shenanigans in Washington, D.C. on June 1st, 2020

A long time ago (2020), I wrote a letter to Florida’s U.S. Senator Rubio when he raised an alarm alleging that “professional agitators” numbered among the protestors in Lafayette park who had gathered to demonstrate against police brutality of the kind that had then so recently resulted in George Floyd’s murder.

The truth is I was agitated by the Senator’s remarks—which he posted on that beacon of truth, Twitter1So called, I imagine, after all the twits who frequent the site.—since they appeared to be baseless and lacking in substance2Though I recognize that “fertilizer” legitimately ranks as a substance..

Citizens might remember that President Trump posed with a bible in front of St. John’s Episcopal church on June 1st (see above) but I feared that few would remember Senator Rubio’s grandstanding on that day and in the shadow of the president’s. Hence, this remembrance.

For the record, here is the letter I wrote:

June 10, 2020

The Honorable Marco Rubio

United States Senate

Washington, D.C. 20510

Dear Senator Rubio,

I read with alarm your recent assertion on Twitter that there were professional agitators among the protesters on June 1st, the day President Trump made his law and order speech. It piqued my interest that the agitators you mention are professional—as opposed to amateurs—which suggests that they get paid for their agitation. It galls me to think that somebody would get paid to do that.

This is what you wrote on the melee which ensued between protesters and police during and following the President’s speech:

A screenshot of a cell phone

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I assume that you have concrete evidence, such as a pay stub or subpoenaed bank account records, that proves how and by whom these agitators get paid. If there is any destruction of private property as a direct or indirect consequence of their agitation, I want to know their names! I think you owe it to the great American people you serve to release their names immediately if not to the press (you can leak the names if necessary) then at least to the proper authorities. 

If you are withholding this information, I beg you to consider whether you are putting yourself in legal jeopardy. I am not an expert on criminal law, what I know is mostly from watching LAPD, but I fear you could be accused of withholding evidence, which is probably a crime. I say this because I find it impossible to believe that you, bearing the solemn responsibilities of a U.S. Senator, would talk about “professional agitators” without concrete evidence (what chatty press persons like to call “a smoking gun”).

It is possible that you misplaced that evidence. If it is true, you shouldn’t have trouble relocating it with the kinds of federal resources you have at your disposal. Maybe your colleagues could help you find it? Maybe now would be an excellent opportunity for you to “reach across the aisle”, as they say, and ask your Democratic colleagues to help you find it?

I am actually quite agitated to think that you might have misplaced this information!

One angle would be to get with the IRS and find out if these agitators pay taxes on their agitation earnings. If they’re paid professionals, even if for them it’s just a moonlighting gig, they should be paying taxes. Sometimes the best way to get these guys behind bars is to get them on income tax evasion. It’s an old trope as I’m sure you are aware. A lot of people with suspect or lax moral standards I am told dodge paying taxes. This is only hearsay. I pay mine in full every year. Also, if you find out who is funding them, it could be quite the coup for your political aspirations ☺.

I did a little Internet research (thank you Al Gore!) and discovered concrete evidence of one such agitator. I believe based on this visual proof that the agitator is in fact employed—big clue, he’s wearing a uniform—and that charges, if brought against him, could be pretty harsh. 

I am not a constitutional scholar but I’m pretty sure he’s violating a few of our most cherished constitutional rights, which are found in the First Amendment of our Bill of Rights, the bits having to do with our rights to peaceful assembly (#1), freedom of speech (#2), and freedom of the press (#3).

I attach a few pix in case you can help me and put your muscle into running down this professional agitator to bring him to justice. I also wish to spare you the trouble of finding your smoking gun.

A person with a helmet on

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Figure – Professional Agitator or Thug?

Figure – The Smoking Gun

I have saved this evidence on my hard drive and will present it to you or the FBI upon request.

Yours Respectfully,

John H. Poplett

CC: Chicago Tribune, NYT,, other national media outlets

P.S. – I’m serious!


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